blindsquirrel.org

Yet another public service message – this time we deal with holiday shopping etiquette…

So You’re out and about, trying to get your holiday shopping done. Traffic is crazy and the malls are packed. You’re driving up and down the rows of thousands of cars trying to find any available space, when you think you see an open one. As you start to pull in you realize that you can’t fit in the space because one, or both, of the other cars parked there took part of the space you want and you’ll never fit. Or, one of my favorites, you actually think your car is so nice (or you are so important) that you are entitled to take up more than one space so that nobody can park next to you. News flash, you are not that important; you are more than likely a moron. Or just plain lazy.

So let’s take basic driving skills here in the U.S.A. and apply them to how you should walk when in a public place. First, just like on the road, stay to the right. When you get in that left lane you just confuse everybody, head straight for other people coming at you, and cause everything to just slow to a crawl. Oh, and don’t just stop in the middle of the row when there are tons of people behind you. It’s really not pleasant for the rest of us. Move to the side, or use a signal or something. Relax. Take your time. Enjoy the season. We can all get along. No need to be rude. Try it out – be kind to a stranger in a stressful shopping situation and see if that doesn’t spread.

On to the public restroom. We’re all in there. We’re all doing pretty much the same thing, handling much of the same equipment. But, please, for the love of God, wash your hands or let me get out in front of you. How can you possible go from urinal to gone in 3 seconds without even so much as a courtesy rinse to make the rest of us believe you washed your hands. Since you decided not to wash up at all, and I did, you put me in a screwed up position since I decided to give up the extra 20 seconds of my life to wash my hands with soap. Now you’ve done your business and bolted out the door, touching the exact same door handle with that nasty, filthy hand, that I now have to touch to get out of the bathroom. You suck.

I noticed, while using the bathroom at an Applebee’s, that their soap dispenser had a timer on it that started counting backwards from 20 as soon as I got soap from it. Once it hits 0 you should be good to go. My wife actually recites the ABC Song in her head (you know, now I know my ABC’s, next time won’t you sing with me) while she is washing up. Works for me.

Enjoy the holidays (and wash your hands!)

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