Last night I went to my first ever Sleep Study at a local hospital. For years my wife has been bugging me to talk to my doctor about issues I have when I sleep. For the record, I have no idea what people are talking about because I think I sleep pretty well. But, I have been told that I snore really, really loud and my wife thinks that I stop breathing “100 times an hour!”
Well, I never notice because I’m too busy sleeping, but I decided to talk to the doctor about all of this and he walked me through a questionnaire. Ends up he thinks I could have an issue with Sleep Apnea so he sent me off to the Sleep Study last night.
I’m the type of person that can fall asleep anywhere. When I travel I often fall asleep before the plane gets in the air. I am usually sleeping within seconds of my head hitting the pillow. But not last night. Not when it counted the most. I arrived at the hospital for my appointment barely awake. I figured this was a good sign. Then they checked me in, let me watch a little bit of the Steeler game, and then proceeded to stick numerous electrodes all over my head, a couple on my chest, and a couple on my legs. No big deal. I was still ready for sleeping. But they said I had to stay awake until 11pm, so I watched most of the Steeler game and the TV shut off automatically.
Then it happened – I could not get to sleep to save my life. Maybe it was the tube in my nose. Maybe it was the mile of wires hanging off of me. Maybe it was the fact that I could hear the entire conversation that the Nurse was having on the phone to a sister somewhere. Maybe it was the thing taped to my left index finger that glowed as bright red as Rudolph’s nose. Or, it could have been the big red light on the ceiling that had to stay on all night. Who knows? Whatever the reason, I could not get to sleep.
Then I had to use the bathroom, so you have to call for them (there is a microphone above the bed) and wave your hands so they see you on the camera. Did I mention that this is all video recorded? They come in and unhook you from the monitors and wrap all of the wires and harnesses around you and you then waddle your way to the bathroom down the hall. It is not easy to use the bathroom with wires and harness hanging in front of you and a glowing red thing taped to your index finger. I had to get, um, creative. Washing my hands was interesting as well.
I figure I must have finally fallen asleep around 2 or 3 in the morning, and I woke up at 5am to use the bathroom again. The study was going to end by 5:30 anyway, so they just unhooked, unstuck, and peeled everything off of me and let me go.
They told me that they got enough data and that I had a couple of dreams, but I don’t remember any of them. They had mentioned that if it did look like apnea and if it was bad enough they would come in during the night and fit me with a mask to help me breathe. Based on the horror stories from my wife about how poorly I sleep I expected to have a mask within the first hour of the study. But it never happened. I hope they got enough data, because I am not looking forward to going through that again. The Sleep Study was the worst night of sleep I ever had.