And what have we learned from this resolution?

• Protein = good
• Carbs = bad
• Sugar = evil
• Exercise = sucks

That about sums it up. It’s never fun when you’re trying to break an addiction, and mine happens to be sugar and caffeine. Caffeine is gone, as well as the headaches that followed from dropping it, and the sugar is greatly reduced. Did I mention what a miracle drug Advil Liqui-Gels are?

Weight Watchers used to have a saying that “nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.” I’m here to tell you that nothing sucks as much as being fat feels. There’s nothing good about it at all, other than I may outlive you if we are ever stranded somewhere without food. Nothing. That stuff about fat people being jolly. It’s all crap.