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We have one of the greatest beds ever made.  I couldn’t tell you what brand it is or who makes the mattress, etc. but I can tell you that it is just a phenomenal piece of furniture.  You can’t help but fall asleep in this bed.  It’s one of my favorite places to be.

At least it was until six nights ago when I finally broke down and brought home the breathing apparatus to address the sleep apnea problem I hear I have.  In one night my favorite place to be became my least favorite place to be.  There was a time when I couldn’t wait to get to bed.  Now I actually dread it because it means I have to wear this ridiculous mask that covers my nose and mouth.  To make sure it stays put through the night it has two straps around the back of your head and one that goes over the top of your head.  Think Hannibal Lecter in Silence Of The Lambs.

Everyone keeps telling me how “it’s not that bad” or how I’ll get used to it.  I call bullshit.  It’s a miserable experience and it has ruined one of my favorite times of the day in one of my favorite places to be.  I used to go to bed when I was getting tired.  Now I hold out as long as I can until I just about pass out so that I get to sleep as fast as possible so I don’t have to think about this mask strapped to my head.  It’s not comfortable.  It is not completely quiet.  It pumps air in to me at a ridiculous pressure.  This is supposed to make me feel so much more well rested?  I don’t think so.

I once thought I could never be more uncomfortable than the time I had a kidney stone.  I’d take that experience back in a heartbeat if it meant I could throw this breathing apparatus in the trash.  I’m looking forward to business trips because there is no way I’m taking this thing to a hotel, or on vacation, or anywhere.  It stays home.

This entry was posted on Monday, March 19th, 2007 at 10:02 pm and is filed under Health, Personal.